Tuesday, 19 May 2009


I think i am not faithful.
I am not capable of remaining as such in times of pain,heartbreak, disappointment and confusion.
My emotions will succumb to all those times.

Today is one of the bad days i will like to chuck it away so i can breathe and live.
Why is there tears ?
Why am i made to tear?
Is there better ways to express pain,sorrows and fear other than tears?

I read a little about this little guy in the Bible.
His name is Job.
In God's contest with Satan, Job bears all the sufferings that is humanly possible.
However, the latter's response is still full of faith and trust.
Trusting in God's goodness.

So what i face with?
I face with regrets and disappointments.
Frustrations and Hurts.
The worst is when i dun get the understanding i thought i should at least have from home.
For being blame and cursed for things i did not do or say.
For being so flawed while the blamer professes words of righteousness.

Though i hate tears, i welcome the vastness of the sea and oceans.
The 70% of what earth is make up of goes in a cycle. To places and through all experience.
Perhaps this is my life.
This is God had in mind for me.
In His promise, he says he will prosper me.
He feeds the birds that fly in the sky and how could he forget me?

He never forgot. He remembers and he gave me friends who listen and love.
He remembers my tiredness and he gave me comforts in words and actions through his people.
How can i forget to remember my thanksgiving?
I remembered.
And now i say,"Thank You God for showing me your Greatness and manifesting your Grace. In the things i cannot fathom, God teach me to learn to accept. In pain that i am going through, God, let me remember and be able to show compassion to others when they sufferings too. In the wrath and anger from my family, God teach me to love and observe silence.For all these happens for a reason and it is a season and time that i have to go through. Bear with me my ignorance and i grow with me in sufferings. In this prayer, i remembered Jesus' Calvary walk. I send up my prayers in His sweetest name. Amen!"

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