Thursday, 19 June 2008

Ward 45, Bed 22, Changi Hospital.

Ah ma is not looking good.
Her skins shows signs of water retention.
Swell till the doctors and nurse took a really long time finding her blood vessel to insert the tube for antibotics.
Anyway, the tube came off, then i saw her wound bled.
My heart screamed "PAIN".
I cannot think.
I can do nothing.Just keep staring at her wan figure.
Heard her wheezing.
Call out her name, but i felt hallow.
Hard to keep my tears in check.
So i tried to lock it.
Din have the courage to speak of Jesus.
His holy name was just locked in my throat.
I will try again.
I thought back of days when she has to take care of me when my mom worked.
Din exactly comes from a happy family, but ah ma and aunt simply make things beautiful
and colour my childhood.
ah gong passed on when i barely enters primary school.
Rather missed ah gong.
I dun want history to repeat itself.

*Sighs...i dunno wat i am saying. I just felt listless. Completely incapable of doing anything.

CDI project seems fun and hard work.
i want to work with my dim sum dollie pal, Kyley.
Too bad, i dun seemed to be able to "click" with Jessica, apart from being chatting friends with the latter. Jessica's work ethics and mine just dun match.
So i felt miserable. I declare myself to a peace-loving person.
I told Kyley i wanted to opt out, cuz i trust my inner voice in telling me that i am bound to have clashes in project work with jessica.
After my decision to withdraw from them, i asked Daphne if i can join she n Pearlyn.
Too bad, i was not given the honour to.
Now left with myself.
Then i watched a video which weizhong sent via facebook's superwall.
It truly motivation.
If there are walls in my path, these Goliath or Godzillas are only there to make me work harder to reach my dream. Unless circumstances do not allow, i will work alone to accomplish what i have pit myself against. The last stand lies when i am not chosen. Acceptance shall be my sole gain, the process of seeking expands my mind and heart.
I do believe Jesus agrees with me on this part.
What means to be, is to be. Walking with Jesus is my Ultimate goal.
If this aint enough, i do not know what is contentment.............

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